The All of It Includes Set Backs

The All of It

The All of It includes setbacks. This year especially, during Covid, has brought more setbacks than most student athletes have ever faced. Missed seasons, canceled tryouts, lost ice time. That is the reality. And it is part of the journey whether you like it or not.

Setbacks are not the enemy. They are actually important and valuable. They are how you become more resilient. The highs, the lows, the setbacks and everything in between are all part of the All of It. You don't get to pick and choose which parts you sign up for.

Everyone Has a "Them"

The All of It needs to include a hunger to succeed and to prove them wrong. When I say "Prove Them Wrong," understand that everyone has a "them" on their path to reaching their goal. A coach who doesn't play you. A scout who passed on you. A teammate who got the spot you earned. You can't let "them" beat you. Whoever your "them" is.

Here is what most young players don't realize. Even the highest level NHL player has a "them" and has setbacks.

• ▸First rounders get sent to the minors.
  - Franchise players get pulled off the power play.
  - Players get hurt at the worst possible time.
  - Coaches have agendas. It happens at every level.

This is not unique to you. It is not just you going through a setback, even though it probably feels that way right now. Every player who ever made it went through a version of what you are going through. The ones who made it did not quit when it got hard.

Pull Yourself Together and Make a Plan

Pull yourself together after a setback and get even hungrier to succeed and prove "them" wrong. The question is how.

You make a plan. You always feel better when you make a plan. Sit down with your parents and map it out. When you have direction, the frustration has somewhere to go. A plan turns anger into action.

There are so many small elements of hard work and grit that go into reaching a goal. Success is hard. Middle of the pack is a lot easier and takes significantly less hard work. It also suffers a lot less disappointment. So if you want the goal, you have to be willing to take the hits that come with chasing it.

Were You Really Working as Hard as You Could?

Take that setback and get hungry. You may think you were working as hard as you could. But were you? Be honest with yourself here, because this is where real growth happens.

Could you have done more? Ask yourself these questions seriously:

• ▸Could you have watched more video?
  - Researched more opponents?
  - Done more stickhandling at home?
  - Gotten more rest?
  - Done more strength and conditioning work?
  - Managed your time better?
  - Eaten better and stayed better hydrated?
  - Been a better teammate?
  - Communicated better with your coach, teachers, and parents?
  - Been more grateful to the people trying to help you?
  - Been more present during games?

Honest answers to those questions will tell you where your plan needs to go. Most players find at least two or three areas they let slip. That is not failure. That is your roadmap.

Think Like an Inchworm

This is not about cramming. It is not about doing everything at once for two weeks and burning out. It is about making a long-term plan and executing it with small, realistic daily gains.

Think like an inchworm. Little steps every day that may go unnoticed for a while. You put in the work, nobody claps, nothing seems to change. Then all of a sudden, people notice. That little guy really moved. That is how real progress works. It is quiet for a long time, and then it isn't.

Stay with the process. The players who succeed are not always the most talented. They are the ones who kept showing up when the results were not there yet.

--

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I stay motivated after getting cut from a team or losing my spot in the lineup?

Start by making a plan. Emotion fades, but a plan keeps you moving. Write down specifically what you need to improve and break it into daily habits you can actually execute. Talk to your parents and coaches. The setback stings, but it only stops you if you let it. Get honest about what areas you can improve and go to work on them quietly.

Is it normal for good players to face major setbacks in their hockey career?

Yes, completely normal. Players get sent down from the NHL to the minors. Starters lose their spot. Injuries derail seasons. Coaches play favorites. These things happen at every level of the game. The fact that you are facing a setback does not mean you are on the wrong path. It means you are on a real one.

How do I know if I am actually working hard enough to reach my goal?

Ask yourself the hard questions honestly. Are you watching video? Working on your skills at home? Taking care of your body? Managing your time well? Being coachable? Most players who feel like they are working hard find real gaps when they look closely. Those gaps are where the work is. Find them and close them one day at a time.

What does it mean to prove "them" wrong in youth hockey?

Your "them" is whoever doubted you, overlooked you, or counted you out. It could be a coach, a scout, a teammate, or someone else entirely. Proving them wrong does not mean being angry all the time. It means using that doubt as fuel to stay disciplined and keep working when it would be easier to quit. Let their doubt push you forward rather than hold you back.