The All of It

Setbacks Are Part of the Deal

The All of It includes setbacks. Not sometimes. Always. The highs, the lows, the setbacks, and everything in between are part of ALL OF IT. If you think you can reach a serious goal in hockey without hitting real obstacles, you are not being honest with yourself. Every player who has ever made it through a tough situation did so because they accepted that the hard part was coming, not because they avoided it.

Setbacks are actually important and valuable. They show you where the gaps are. They force you to look at yourself honestly, and that kind of honesty is something you can't buy and nobody can hand you.

Everyone Has a "Them"

The ALL OF IT needs to include a hunger to succeed and to prove them wrong. When I say "Prove Them Wrong," note that everyone has a "them" on their path to reaching their goal. A coach who cut you. A scout who passed on you. A person who told you that you were too small, too slow, or not skilled enough. You can't let "them" beat you. Whoever your "them" is.

And everyone has setbacks. It is NOT just you, although you probably think it is when you are going through one. Even the highest level NHL player has a "them" and setbacks. First rounders get sent to the minors. Franchise players get taken off the power play. Players get hurt. Coaches don't like them for one reason or another, or have an agenda. That is the reality of competitive hockey at every level. What separates the players who make it is that they get back up after a setback and get even hungrier to succeed and prove "them" wrong.

Make a Plan and Work It

So how do you do that? By making a plan. Not a vague idea of working harder. An actual plan with specific actions you commit to every single day.

There are so many little things and elements of hard work and grit that you need to do to reach your goal and carry out a plan. Success is hard. Middle of the pack is a lot easier and takes significantly less hard work, and suffers a lot less disappointment. Nobody is going to hand you a spot on a roster or a scholarship or a contract. You earn it or you don't.

Take that setback and get hungry. You may think that you were working as hard as you could, but were you? Could you have done more? Could you have:

• ▸Watched more video?
  - Researched more opponents?
  - Done more stickhandling at home?
  - Gotten more rest?
  - Done more strength and conditioning work?
  - Managed your time better?
  - Eaten better and stayed better hydrated?
  - Been a better teammate?
  - Been a more selfless player?
  - Communicated better with your coach, teachers, and parents?
  - Been more grateful to those trying to help you on your journey?
  - Been more present during the game?

That list is not there to make you feel guilty. It is there to show you where your next gains are hiding.

Small Daily Gains Beat Short Bursts Every Time

This is not about a cramming session of doing more all at once. It is about making a long-term plan and executing it with small, realistic daily gains. Think like an inchworm. That little guy takes tiny steps. You might not notice him moving for a while, and then all of a sudden, wow, he really moved.

Players who try to fix everything overnight burn out or lose focus within two weeks. Players who commit to getting one percent better each day build something real. Stack enough of those days together and people start to notice. Scouts notice. Coaches notice. And more importantly, you notice it in yourself.

The hunger has to stay with you through the boring days, not just the days right after a setback when the emotion is running high.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How do I stay motivated after a big setback in hockey?

The motivation right after a setback is usually easy because the emotion is fresh. The hard part is staying locked in two or three months later when the feeling fades. That is where a written plan helps. When you have specific daily habits and goals written down, you do not need motivation to carry them out. You just follow the process.

Is it normal to feel like everyone else is moving forward except me?

Completely normal, and also not accurate. Every player around you is dealing with their own setbacks and doubts. You just do not see theirs up close the way you see your own. Even players who look like everything is going well are fighting through something. Stay focused on your own path.

What does "prove them wrong" actually mean in practice?

It does not mean obsessing over the person who doubted you every single day. It means you use that feeling as fuel to do the work when you do not feel like doing it. You channel it into the extra reps, the video sessions, the conditioning, and the small daily habits. Eventually the results do the talking for you.

How do I build a real training plan after a setback?

Start by being honest about where you fell short, not where bad luck got you. Identify two or three specific areas to improve. Build small daily or weekly actions around those areas and track them. Do not try to fix ten things at once. Fix the most important thing first, build the habit, then add the next layer. Slow and steady progress is far more durable than a two-week sprint followed by burnout.